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Little Pain For Stewart ~ Big Gain For Victory Junction Gang CampAn Opinion
By Kim Roberson
A week ago I talked about “Operation Wax Smoke”, and I am here to tell you, I have not laughed so hard in quite a while. Not that hearing Tony in pain was funny, but, well, it was funny to hear not only his reactions as they waxed his back, but the reactions of everyone else that was there with him. When the waxers were introduced, they made no bones about how much hair they had to take off. “On a scale of 1 to 10, this is going to be an 11” as far as pain goes. I think 11 was an understatement. If you are not a fan of Tony Stewart, and want to hear him groan and squirm in pain, this was the show for you. In attendance was “Tony Stewart Live” co-host Matt Yocum, the challenger, Kevin Harvick, Kevin’s wife Delana, Austin Petty, who was there on behalf of the Victory Junction Gang Camp, and TSL cub reporter Ford Martin, son of crew chief Gil Martin. Also on hand were the two young women from a boutique in Cornelius, NC, who were drafted to do the waxing, Abi Goldberg and Lorrie Emory. (Smoke had asked for Abi’s phone number before the show ever began.) In Smoke’s hand was a cold can of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Make that several cans. As the first strip was taken off, every single person in the room yelled “OHHHH!”, and you could hear Tony groaning in the background. “The face is SO red” said Yocum as Tony said “That’s right, I’ve got this. OW!” Harvick added “That hurt ME! We have to turn the air conditioner up. I’m sweatin’!” When Matt asked the ladies if they had ever seen that much hair come off in one pull, adding “It looks like you waxed someone’s dog!”…they said “No.” On pull number two, you could hear Smoke call out “OH MAN!”, and Yocum compared the look on Tony’s face to someone passing kidney stones. Smoke’s response: “I tell you what. You can kick me in the balls, and I will not cry tonight. And I tell you what, I’d rather you kicked me in the balls right now.” When they moved to the sides of Tony’s back, at first they used a roller to spread the wax, to which Smoke said “It hurts putting it on even!” During the course of the night, several people called in to comment on Smokes efforts, including team owners Joe and JD Gibbs. JD, who was out west with a group of friends, but who was listening to the show, said they had pooled their money and would pay $15,000 for someone to pull a strip off where it hurt. At that offer, Tony reminded JD that he drove some very expensive cars for JD, and it wouldn’t be too much trouble for him to crash one of those cars and cost JD some money. JD agreed, but still put up the $15k to have a strip of wax put at the base of Tony’s neck and pulled.
As they put the wax on for JD’s pull, everyone commented “Oh man, this is gonna hurt.” When they pulled it off, Smoke let the four letter words fly. “Oh S*&t. Ohhhhh mercy!” Matt explained that Smoke was “Up on his knees. Face in his hands.” Last week I told you Jimmie Johnson had offered up $10,000 for Ford Martin to be allowed to pull off a strip, and sure enough, young Ford tormented Tony by asking if he should pull the strip off “really slow. I don’t want to miss any hair.” In the end, Ford, Kevin, Delana, and Matt all took their turns stripping the hair from Tony Stewarts back. I have to admit, I was laughing pretty hard as the efforts progressed, but I was also cringing at how much pain was obviously involved. It took well over two hours to get Tony’s back waxed, and they were only half way done when the show went off the air at it’s scheduled time Monday night, so we didn’t even get to hear the entire process. That said, this was such a monumental event, several people have collected pieces of waxed paper with Tony's hair on it. Carl Edwards was on the "Morning Show" Thursday morning, and he said he was sitting in an office at Sirius Radio headquarters in New York City, and there was a piece of Smokes waxed hair laminated and hanging on the door. "That's creepy" was Carl's comment.
All of that said, four days later, Smoke didn’t regret a moment of the pain. “They pulled…I thought there was skin pulling off with it. It’s just kinda freaky looking. Now I understand why the kids at the pool ran screaming to their parents.” he explained on Friday, referring to just how much hair came off in the waxing process. “It is like a barren desert on the back (now) and Sherwood forest on the front.” When asked if he regretted making the bet with Kevin in the first place, he said “I’d do it all over again. We raised $125,000 for the Victory Junction Gang Camp. What, an hour 45 minutes of pain to raise money for kids to go to camp…it was well worth it. In all honesty I have to give Kevin credit. They were the ones that made it happen. Kevin’s fans raised about $36,000, and it shows how cool a guy Kevin is. Jimmie Johnson said if Ford would pull a strip he’d donate $10,000, and then JD Gibbs said he’d donate $15,000. Every bit of pain it was so worth it to go through to know we raised money for the camp.” Tony says the hair has already started growing back, and he is starting to feel like a bear in the forest looking for a tree to rub up against. “The problem is, the back stuff is already growing back…I am like a chia pet or something…You know how you can get one of those things at the fair, you know how they get one of those back scratchers? I’m gonna have one of those on the helmet hook so I can scratch during caution laps.” The hair on his back wasn’t the only thing that vanished this week. Yes, you can finally stop complaining. Tony got a hair cut too. “I just woke up (Thursday) and it was like “today seems like a good day to get a hair cut”. I was just over it…I told myself it was time. I got really tired of guys asking me about my hair. It started freakin’ me out. Girls talking about my hair, I’m cool with that. But when guys talk about it….” If you missed “Operation Wax Smoke” last week, you have one more chance to catch a replay of all the painful events. Since today is a holiday, tomorrow night’s edition of “Tony Stewart Live” will be a repeat of last week. You can catch the rip-by-rip replay of the waxing of Tony Stewart beginning at 8 pm eastern on Sirius channel 128. If you don’t have a Sirius radio, you can see photos (no, there are no "before" pics of the back, however there are pics of the after) and catch clips from the broadcast by going to www.sirius.com/tonystewart.
You can contact Kim at.. Insider Racing News Read other articles by Kim Roberson
The thoughts and ideas expressed by this writer or any other writer on Insider Racing News, are not necessarily the views of the staff and/or management of IRN. St. Jude Children's Research Hospital
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