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How You Can Find The Perfect NASCAR Mate
By L.M. Burke
October 4, 2002
“Sorry I’m late. Rusty Wallace was on the post-race show,” the Daytona USA television ad begins. All you hear throughout the commercial is this man talking about “Rusty-Rusty-Rusty.” When asked about her date, the woman flips the light switch, revealing a room decked out all-Rudd all the time. “He’s not my type,” she commands.
No kidding.
So, how do NASCAR junkies
have a relationship that can survive this obsession?
At Bristol in August, couples exchanged wedding vows on the legendary track, with Jerry Nadeau serving as best man. Decked out in the finest racing apparel in place of the standard wedding dress attire, these couples said “I do” and celebrated their nuptials on a glorious race day. Now, that’s love, folks. NASCAR love.
Is this a case of "the couple that cheers together loves together?" Perhaps so.
Who has suffered through your beloved mate’s nagging or teasing tones as you sit comatose in front of the television from Friday afternoon qualifying to Inside Winston Cup on Monday evening?
Why does a roadtrip with your buddies to the best race on the circuit require a presidential pardon from any family obligations? And if you do obtain the proper permission to attend the race, why do you have to hear about it for the other 51 weekends out of the year?
Come on! We’re talking NASCAR here, spouses! So, let this be a lesson to all of you single people out there, looking for a mate who will deal with your obsession:
Potential mates must be NASCAR fans.
Alternative: Potential mate must be deaf so that they cannot hear you cheering loudly from your armchair. Blind so they cannot see the overwhelming volume of race paraphernalia (anyone else have diecasts that aren’t “allowed” in the living room?). Mute so they cannot interrupt a race broadcast at the most inopportune moments.
Before you ever go out with a potential mate, find out which driver she-he supports.
Note: Daytona USA commercial. Ricky Rudd and Rusty Wallace fans cannot co-exist happily in the same space. All the better if you support the same driver. The couple that cheers together, stays together.
If you’re a NASCAR junkie, make sure your potential mate is, too.
Lesson: Walk the walk, talk the talk. Hearing “Why are they driving down that road there?” as the cars come down to make a pit stop is not acceptable. Shoot, it’s not even mildly amusing.
Ensure that your potential mate has complementary, not duplicate, subscriptions to the essential racing magazines.
Example: You bring NASCAR Illustrated, Racing Milestones, and The Sporting News to the table. Your ideal mate brings Speedway Illustrated, Stock Car Racing, and Circle Track to the relationship.
Establish protocol right away.
Rules: No weddings, birthday parties, BBQs, baptisms, or other such obligatory events on race day. No races will be skipped to attend such events. (If your presence is required at such an event, mate must know that you will bring a portable television, radio or whichever other device will keep you properly informed.) As a NASCAR junkie’s mate, if you hear breaking news about my driver(s), team(s), or NASCAR in general, your responsibility is to immediately alert me to said news. There is no talking during race broadcasts. And yes, you will have to learn to live with iNdemand on one TV, network broadcast on another TV, and MRN providing the play-by-play.
Racing will be celebrated throughout the home.
Examples: Diecast collectibles will be displayed wherever appropriate and will not be restricted to one room. Framed lithographs, posters, or tickets will serve as a nice welcome in the entryway to our home.
Document ownership of the racing collectibles and/or tickets before you co-habitate.
Lesson: Jenny wound up with Jack’s Loudon tickets after they parted ways. Jack now anxiously awaits for that three- or five- or however-many-year waitlist to make any movement whatsoever so that he can once again have his own tickets.
Establish Racing Holidays right away.
Calendar: Any races you’re planning to attend in person. Daytona 500 – from Bud Shootout to Twin 125s to the race itself. Bristol night race. Talladega (x2). Pepsi 400 in Daytona over the Fourth of July weekend. The Winston. Both Charlotte night races (as of 2003 season). Please note that these holidays will be celebrated like any other – with no yard work, household chores, or errands done during these revered occasions. If entertaining during these events, casual, informal, SuperBowl-style parties will be in full effect. The more, the merrier.
Understand that healthy debate about racing is never considered arguing.
Lesson: Enthusiastic discussion about the latest racing news – be it Tony Stewart, Silly Season, or your favorite driver's media over-exposure – is not an argument. It is a healthy exchange of your shared obsession. And if you have different points of view, all the better. Live, love, and laugh. And never go to bed mad.
And if you find that perfect, understanding, similarly obsessed, fellow NASCAR junkie, be sure to …
Set the Rules of Engagement.
Absolutely no wedding can take place on the weekend that a race is in town. And if the wedding is during the season, I’m sorry, honey. There will be a big screen TV at the reception tuned into the race.
Better yet, just reserve August 23, 2003. Trackside in race wear and a wedding night spent with 160,000 of our closest friends … fellow fans. Now, that’s true NASCAR love!
(For those with mates who are not NASCAR junkies, stay tuned for Part 2.)
The thoughts and ideas expressed by this writer or any other writer on Insider Racing News, are not necessarily the views of the staff and/or management of IRN. Although we may not always agree with what is said, we do feel it's our duty to give a voice to those who have something relevant to say about the sport of auto racing.
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