The State of NASCAR versus Tony Stewart: The Trial

March 21, 2008

By Rebecca Gladden

Rebecca Gladden

Bailiff (as judge enters courtroom): All rise. Your Honor, this is Case No. 20, the State of NASCAR versus Tony Stewart.

Judge: Mr. Stewart, on the basis of your Goodyear tire comments at Atlanta and numerous other controversial incidents in your past, you are charged with multiple counts of violating Section 12-4-A of the NASCAR Rulebook - Actions Detrimental to Stock Car Racing. The specific charges include rampant rudeness, flagrant exaggeration, excessive temper tantrums, speaking without thinking, giving advice that you don't follow yourself, and numerous examples of behavior unbecoming a postmodern NASCAR superstar. Mr. Stewart, how do you plead?

(Tony Stewart stands beside his Defense Attorney, Mr. H. DePot, Esquire, but says nothing).

DePot: Your honor, my defendant pleads not guilty.

(Gasps from the courtroom gallery).

Judge (striking gavel): Quiet in the courtroom! One more outburst like that and you will all be sentenced to repetitive viewings of the Kasey Kahne dance commercial.

(The room quickly falls silent).

Judge (to Prosecuting Attorney): Mr. Francelton, please present your opening arguments.

Francelton: Your Honor, Tony Stewart, though a talented racecar driver, makes no effort to conform to the current laws of the State of NASCAR. He's politically incorrect, rude to reporters, and far too outspoken. He says what's on his mind without a single thought as to how it makes him look or how his comments will affect the sport as a whole. He ignores proper channels, and even when he has legitimate questions or concerns, he just blurts out his opinions - usually on national TV. This leaves my client - the NASCAR governing body - scrambling to contain the damage and clean up the mess Mr. Stewart leaves in his wake - usually after picking their jaws up off the floor.

DePot: I object! My client, Tony Stewart, can't be held responsible for the things he says to the media in the heat of moment. Reporters can't wait to stick a microphone in his face and ask him some downright dumb questions. He has no time to cool off after a race, no time to get his emotions in check before being mobbed by the media, and then, when he does express his sentiments, he's accused of being insolent or out of control.

Judge: Objection sustained. Mr. Francelton, your next point.

Francelton: Your Honor, Mr. Stewart is not the kind of corporate spokesdriver that NASCAR needs or wants today. At this time, I would like to present Exhibit One. May I approach?

(The judge nods and Francelton walks to an easel which holds a large item covered by fabric. He removes the covering and the audience gasps. The judge pounds his gavel. Stewart rolls his eyes and shifts uncomfortably in his chair).

Francelton: As you can see, this is an enlargement of a photo of Tony Stewart taken at a recent NASCAR race. Note the long stringy hair, the five o'clock shadow, the, ahem, body habitus. Clearly, this is a man unconcerned with the message his appearance is sending. If he really cared about NASCAR, he would get a haircut, a shave, and, well, you know …

DePot: Your Honor, Tony Stewart is a racecar driver, not a GQ model! Long hair, short hair, shorn, unshorn - it makes no difference to Mr. Stewart or his fans. He's widely recognized as one of the best racecar drivers in the world. As long as he's winning races and championships, why should his hirsute appearance matter to anyone?

Francelton: But, that's just it, your honor. NASCAR is about more than racing these days. It's about sponsorships and marketing, public appearances and promotions. Drivers have to be more than just racers. They have to be actors, salesmen, diplomats, trendsetters, good sports, and of course, ideal role models for the younger NASCAR fans.

(Crowd murmurs. Judge bangs gavel again).

Judge: Mr. Francelton, can we get back to the topic of the Goodyear tire controversy? I understand that is the issue that led to charges being leveled against Mr. Stewart?

Francelton: Quite correct, your honor. I would like to submit Exhibit Two (pulls out portable tape recorder).

Judge: What is the nature of this tape?

Francelton: Your honor, this is a compilation of comments made by Tony Stewart during the recent Atlanta race weekend regarding NASCAR's valued business associate, the Goodyear Tire Company. May I play the tape?

Judge: Proceed.

(Tony Stewart's voice emits from tape recorder): "That was the worst tire I've ever been on in my life in any professional form of racing … That was the most pathetic racing tire I've ever been on in my professional career … Goodyear can't build a tire that is worth a crap … They got run out of Formula One, they got run out of CART, the IRL, they got run out of World of Outlaws sprint cars, they got run out of USAC divisions, because they couldn't keep up and make a quality enough product … The bad thing is they've got an exclusive deal. They have no reason to have to push and make their product better because they have no competition … If I were Goodyear, I would really be embarrassed about what they brought here. I guarantee you Hoosier or Firestone or somebody can come in and do a better job than they are right now … If that's what we've got to look forward to, weekends like this, there will be a lot of drivers going into retirement a lot earlier, because nobody's going to want to keep doing it like this … "

(Stewart fidgets with papers on table in front of him. His attorney interrupts the tape).

DePot: That's enough, Your Honor. We all know what was said.

Judge (to Francelton): Turn it off. Mr. DePot, how can you defend your client's behavior? You must admit that those statements were confrontational and should not have been made on national television.

DePot: I not only defend his statements, Your Honor, I praise them!

(Crowd cries out. Reporters run out of the courtroom to file stories. Stewart smirks).

Judge (banging gavel loudly): Order! Order in the court!

DePot: Your Honor, my client is the only NASCAR driver with the guts to speak up about important issues! Yes, you've got your Jeff Gordons and your Dale Earnhardt Jr.s, and your Greg Biffles, who try to make the same points. But they are too polite, too diplomatic, to command the kind of attention that Stewart does with his bluntness. Tony Stewart speaks out the way he does because he's passionate about racing and he cares about safety - not just his safety, but the safety of all the drivers. If he wasn't so outspoken, no one would take these issues seriously. He got NASCAR's attention, he got Goodyear's attention, and as a result, changes are being made that would not have been made otherwise.

Judge (nodding head): I see. Mr. Francelton?

Francelton: Preposterous! Tony Stewart does more harm than good with his incendiary rhetoric. And this is not the first time - in fact, it's just one of many times - that he has made outrageous comments that he later had to apologize for. He has no self control and lets his temper overrule his judgment. At this time, Your Honor, I would like to present Exhibits Three and Four.

(Francelton approaches two easels, each covered by a separate piece of fabric).

Judge: Continue.

Francelton: Your Honor, these are just two examples of the apologies that Tony Stewart has issued in the past year alone after shooting off his mouth without considering the consequences. The first is his apology to Goodyear after his ranting in Atlanta.

(Francelton uncovers the first easel, revealing a poster that reads as follows): "My comments were made to get Goodyear's attention. But what I overlooked was that those comments affected people who had nothing to do with the racing program. I want to apologize to the people who work in the factories and the union workers at Goodyear. We realize they're working hard and that Goodyear as a whole works hard. (My) comments last week weren't meant to offend those people. They're not the ones making the decisions about the racing tires we use."

Judge: And the second apology?

Francelton: That one came last year after Mr. Stewart complained about my client's so-called phantom debris cautions. He openly questioned NASCAR's integrity, likened the sport to professional wrestling, and accused my client of "playing God" and dictating the results of races.

(The gallery is shocked. Francelton removes the cloth covering the second easel with dramatic flare. It reads): "I said some things I shouldn't have said … I know I've done a lot of damage. I felt bad for saying that. You can't fix stupid a lot of times. I'm getting better about not saying stupid things, but I haven't totally cured it yet. Sometimes, I'm my own worst enemy."

Francelton: Again, Your Honor, Mr. Stewart played the demagogue, the self-appointed judge, jury, and executioner. As in the past, he was forced to issue an apology. But by that time the damage is already done. He admits he was wrong, but he can't put the genie back in the bottle.

(Mr. DePot leaps to his feet).

DePot: I object! Tony Stewart is not a demagogue! He's a leader in the garage, and one the sport sorely needs. Just in the last season or two, he's brought the topics of slam drafting at Daytona, unnecessary debris cautions, unsafe tire compounds, and numerous other critical issues to a head. When Tony Stewart holds court, NASCAR has to listen - whether they want to or not. And the plain fact is, Tony Stewart is usually right. He only apologizes because he's forced to.

Francelton: Your Honor, it's not that these issues are unimportant. It's Stewart's approach that's the problem. He's not just controversial - he's hostile, impulsive, disrespectful, at times almost slanderous. For the good of the sport, it's time to teach Tony Stewart a lesson!

(Some in the courtroom cheer. Others boo).

Judge (bangs gavel silencing the crowd, then pauses before speaking): Gentlemen, I have considered both of your arguments carefully. However, I feel I need the testimony of some real NASCAR fans before issuing my ruling. Anyone wishing to comment on Mr. Stewart's behavior should email me at NscrWriter@aol.com. I will include some of your messages when I issue my ruling next week. This court stands adjourned until Friday, March 28th.

Bailiff: All rise. (The judge leaves the courtroom, and others begin filing out).

You can contact Rebecca at.. Insider Racing News



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